Now I know what the kids mean when they write OMG.
Via The Passive Voice from yesterday, there was this wonderful gem:
“What begins as a raindrop on our heads turns into a cloudburst of rain. If we deny its messages, it becomes a thunderstorm. Still not listening? Look out for a hurricane, a tornado and an accompanying tsunami.”
Are you kidding me? Talk about mixing metaphors. And even mixing them WITHIN a metaphor. This is supposed to be a serious post about what might happen if we “fail or refuse to learn the lessons we are supposed to learn.”
What I saw:
“a cloudburst of rain” — um, as opposed to a cloudburst of what?
And then somehow a thnderstorm is bigger than a cloudburst.
And then a tornado is bigger than a hurricane, and is accompanied by a tsunami. Really?
She might at least have substituted “waterspout” for “tornado” to keep things in the same family. And then maybe made the waterspout smaller than the hurricane. And then done away with the tsunami.
Or at least begin with a gentle ripple that grows to a wave that increases to whatever’s bigger than a wave and then to a tsunami.
I guess I was in a bad mood or something. I actually signed up for Medium (it’s required if you want to view the original post) just so I could leave a comment. And that was, “I laughed so hard at this. Either the first or fourth sentence might be a really good submission to the Bulwer-Lytton contest.”
TPG was silent on this one too, surprisingly, so I also left the comment on his site where he links to the original.
If you want a good chuckle, or if you want to see what not to aspire to as a writer, see the original post at https://medium.com/@literacychampion/you-create-your-own-lessons-378948ad87a8/.
Seriously, OMG. I thought about turning this into a contest to see who could find more category mistakes and/or silly similes and messed-up metaphors. Woof.
Rolled out a little late (by plan). My wife bought me a recliner (my first ever), and it’s due to arrive late this afternoon or early evening. I wanted to make sure I’m still awake and coherent when it gets here. (grin)
Today begins my new very low-pressure goals. I’m still feeling a sense of relief. It doesn’t mean I can’t or won’t write 3,000+ words in a day. It just means I don’t have to. It feels so good to actually relax my way into the day.
Of course, I don’t want to slip too far the other way either. There will be a period of adjustment.
I finally started reading over what I’ve written on the novel at around 9, allowing myself to touch it on the way through.
I did notice I’m more prone to cycling more often now that I know I have time. I write what’s flowing at the moment, then run back over it, allowing myself to touch it.
Played an on-again, off-again game of Catch The Umbrella each time the wind came up while I was outside. One of those days when there’s almost no wind, and then a sudden gust.
And then around 10:30, I went inside to turn on the swamp cooler. I noticed the temp in the house was actually climbing. I put my hand up in front of a vent and felt warm air.
So I went outside, put a nozzle on the hose and sprayed the pads on the swamp cooler (it’s on the roof) from the ground. Went back inside to check, and sure enough the air coming out of the vents was cooler.
Got the ladder out, went up on the roof thinking (hoping) I just needed to unclog the spider, but the pump is out. So I came back inside, emailed to ask my wife to pick up a new pump on her way home.
All of that took a little over 2 and a half hours.
If I still had my big word count to worry about, I’d have called the day at that point. As it was, I went back to the novel.
Dean’s been saying for years he doesn’t do word counts for fiction. He just figures out what he wants to do, then determines the number of hours he has to spend in the chair to do it. I have to admit, I like it.
Ooh! Check the comments on “A Matter of Perspective” at http://www.deanwesleysmith.com/a-matter-of-perspective/#comments/.
Fiction Words: 1142
Nonfiction Words: 760 (Journal)
So total words for the day: 1902
Writing of Doctor Ramsey (novel, working title)
Day 1…… 1781 words. Total words to date…… 1781
Day 2…… 2678 words. Total words to date…… 4459
Day 3…… 1142 words. Total words to date…… 5601
Total fiction words for the month……… 12682
Total fiction words for the year………… 392302
Total nonfiction words for the month… 3620
Total nonfiction words for the year…… 140020
Total words for the year (fiction and this blog)…… 532322
The Daily Journal blog streak……………………………………… 648 days
Calendar Year 2017 Novel Goal (15 novels or novellas)………………… 8 novels or novellas
Novels (since Oct 19, 2014)………………………………………… 26
Novellas (since Nov 1, 2015)……………………………………… 4
Short stories (since Apr 15, 2014)……………………………… 182