In Today’s Journal
* Chapter 5, Part 3: These Are Not Tag Line Verbs
Again, picking up where we left off yesterday….
These Are Not Tag Line Verbs
First, here’s a short list of verbs that indicate a form of utterance. To “hear” these in tag lines, insert He or She in front of each verb as you read them:
- Announced, answered, asked, called, called out, exclaimed, implored, mumbled, murmured, muttered, quipped, remarked, responded, said, screamed, stammered, stated, uttered, and yelled.
Again, these are all transitive verbs, so for the tag line to make sense it must be attached to a line of dialogue.
Of all of those verbs, “said” is the most appropriate in any case.
That said, “implored” will qualify the tone of the sentence (begging), as will “mumbled,” “murmured,” and “muttered” (quiet) and “yelled” (loud).
But “said” will still carry any sentence with less of an interruption.
I recommend never using the verbs listed below in tag lines.
Most of them are intransitive verbs—meaning they don’t require a direct object—so when they follow a subject (noun or pronoun) they form a short but complete sentence that can stand on its own.
In other words, although most of these would be useful in brief descriptive narratives, you shouldn’t use them in tag lines because they are not a form of utterance.
For the verbs in the list below that are transitive and therefore could be used in tag lines as quasi-forms of utterance—for example, accused or nagged—the writer wants to convey she said, accusing him or he said, nagging her.
But if you want to write either of those, the reader should be able to take the accusatory or nagging tone from the dialogue itself and the context of the scene anyway.
So again, said is the best verb for a tag line to unobtrusively carry the sentence, identify which character is speaking, and let the reader get back to the story with only a minimal, almost unnoticeable, interruption.
This list is comprehensive, but it isn’t exhaustive.
Creative writers are constantly coming up with new and “exciting” verbs to distract the reader’s attention from the story. In almost every case, those writers have been subjected to some moronic writing “guru” who advised them to “punch up” their tag lines to make them more interesting. Sigh.
To hear how these would sound in tag lines, again insert He or She in front of each verb as you read it:
- accused, acknowledged, admonished, affirmed, amended, amplified, argued, assured, attacked, attempted,
- balked, beamed, belched, blasted, blathered, blurted, blustered, bossed, brayed, broke in, brooded, brought up, bubbled, burlesqued, burped, burst out,
- chastised, cheered, chided, chimed, chimed in, chirped, chirped in, choked, chortled, chorused, chuckled, clarified, coached, coaxed, commanded, commented, commiserated, complained, complimented, conceded, concluded, consoled, continued, contributed, corrected, countered, coyed, cracked, criticized, crooned, cursed, cut in,
- defended, delayed, delivered, delved, digressed, denied,
- editorialized, ejaculated, encouraged, ended, enjoined, enlightened, enquired, enthused, eructated, evaded, exhaled, exploded, expostulated, extemporized,
- filled in, finished, fished, flicked, flicked in, flipped out, fly casted, followed, frowned,
- galloped, galloped on, gave, gave him/her, gave him/her back, gave out, giggled, got out, greeted, grinned, griped, gripped, groused, grumbled, gushed,
- haled, harrumphed, hazarded, heaped on, hedged, helped out, huffed,
- identified, improvised, informed, instructed, interloped, interrupted, intoned, invited,
- jammed in, jimmied, jockeyed, jumped in, justified,
- kicked in, kicked out,
- laughed, lectured,
- maintained, managed, modified, morosed, mouthed,
- nagged, nibbled, nitpicked, nuptialed,
- objected, offered, oozed, opened, opined, ordered, owned up,
- paddled back, parsed, persisted, piped in, piped up, placated, played back, pointed out, pontificated, postulated, pounced, pressed, prodded, promenaded on, prompted, pronounced, protested, protracted, pushed, put in, puttered,
- quavered, questioned, quipped,
- rattled on, reasoned, reassured, recommended, reminded, reposted, resumed, retorted, returned, revealed, ridiculed,
- scolded, screeched, seconded, sentenced, set in stone, shot, shrieked, shrilled, sighed, slapped, sleazed, smiled, smirked, snapped, sneered, snarled, snickered, sniffed, sniffled, sobbed, spat, spat out, speculated, spewed, spoke up, spouted, squealed, started, started out, started out full throttle, stumbled, submitted, suggested, sulked, summarized, supplied, susurrated, syruped out,
- talked on, teased, telegraphed, temporized, testified, threatened, told him/her, tossed, touted, tried, triggered, trilled, trotted out, trumped, trumpeted, tumbled out,
- ululated,
- ventured, vocalized, voiced, volumed (and volumated and volumized, I’m not kidding), volunteered,
- wagged, waggled, warbled, warned, waved, went on, whined, worried,
- yapped, yawned, yodeled, yongered.
To be clear, the verbs in the list above were not used in brief descriptive narratives. They were all used in tag lines, as in,
- “I just can’t see that happening,” she yongered. (Yeah, “yongered” wasn’t even a word until the writer created it.)
- “I think I want to kiss you,” he telegraphed.
And so on, ad infinitum.
You will notice that a few letters of the alphabet are not represented in the list above, but I have every reason to believe eventually they will be. I expect someday to read, in some mangy old dog of a story,
- Her eyes were intense. She seemed to see right through me. “What’s on your mind?” she x-rayed.
Granted, it hasn’t happened yet, but I have every faith someday it will.
In the meantime, I add to the list as I encounter new misuses. If you’ve seen any others, please let me know so I may add them to the list.
And please don’t email me to say “Famous Writer So and So uses verbs like these in tag lines all the time, so it must be all right to do so.”
I’m aware that some of them do, and it still isn’t all right. I’ll discuss more about what some famous authors do that you should still try to avoid doing in the final chapter of this book.
As always, of course, do whatever you want. Just know that your primary job as a fiction writer, in addition to telling a good story, is to not divert the reader’s attention from that story.