An Example of Author Intrusion

by

In Today’s Journal

* An Example of Author Intrusion
* A Final True Pulp Push: Only Two Days Left!
* Of Interest
* The Numbers

An Example of Author Intrusion

The second novel in the Journey Home SF saga is currently posting over at Your Morning Serial, free of course.

If you’re a latecomer and you’re interested, you can go there to read The Ark (the first novel) and then The Journey Home: Part 2 (the second novel).

I’m also a subscriber, so I’m reading stuff I wrote a while back day by day, just as the other subscribers are.

Of course, when you read something you wrote long ago, you notice areas where you’ve grown. One such area leapt off the page at me in yesterday’s installment, Chapter 15 of The Journey Home, Part 2.

For context, here are the first three paragraphs of that chapter:

The XO rocked back in his chair and looked past his tablet at the wall.

Dingle’s record was hardly a curriculum vitae indicative of leadership qualities. Yet he was the supposed ringleader of the effort to blow up The Ark?

The XO frowned. Still, why had he wanted to sabotage Earth’s effort to spread humans to another part of the galaxy anyway? Why would he even care? He certainly didn’t seem the political type. Or the philosophical type, for that matter. But had he been successful, it would almost certainly have delayed the future of the program. And the XO realized the success of The Ark was important for more reasons than one.

The problem—a gross author intrusion—occurs in the third paragraph. Did you spot it?

If you did, you might’ve felt your mind jerk the tiniest bit. This is not a major thing, it’s a nuance. But it’s an important nuance, because when authors dismiss their own intrusion into a story, they typically intrude a lot.

If I were writing that third paragraph today. the last sentence would read

The success of The Ark was important for more reasons than one.

What’s the difference?

With the change, I’m not intruding on the story anymore. I’m not inserting myself between the reader and the character. In the published version, I intruded with “And the XO realized.”

That short dependent clause was me telling the reader something s/he already knew if s/he was paying attention. It’s like a slap in the face.

Guard against author intrusion. It will only cost you readers.

A Final True Pulp Push: Only Two Days Left!

To those of you who have already donated to the True Pulp Kickstarter, my sincere thanks on behalf of all the authors.

But there’s a problem: Our second stretch goal won’t unlock unless we reach $4500 in donations.

The prize for that one (but only for those who donated at least $20) is my One-Off Mysteries Omnibus Collection, a novella and six novels that comprise over 257,000 words of great mystery reading.

Between you and me, I’m pretty sure we aren’t gonna get there, and that’s fine.

So Guess What?

If you donate at least $15 to the True Pulp Kickstarter today or tomorrow and then email me to let me know, I’ll send you a coupon code to score the One-Off Mysteries Omnibus free.

NOTE: If you wish, you may substitute

  • either the complete, 10-volume set of The Journey Home SF Saga (a $35 value)
  • OR the Nonfiction Omnibus PLUS Writing Better Fiction (a $34 value).

And of course you’ll also get the True Pulp anthology itself when the editors get it out (August, if I remember correctly).

As a bonus, I won’t talk about the True Pulp anthology Kickstarter again, except to say thank you. (grin)

Of Interest

3 Mistakes Authors Make That Kill Book Sales (And How to Fix Them Fast) Might be worth checking this out for marketing tips.

The Numbers

The Journal…………………………… 630

Writing of

Day 1…… XXXX words. To date…… XXXX

Fiction for July..………………………. 2590
Fiction for 2025………………………. 523397
Nonfiction for July…………………….. 10730
Nonfiction for 2025…………………… 162360
2025 consumable words…………….. 678143

2025 Novels to Date…………………….. 13
2025 Novellas to Date…………………… 0
2025 Short Stories to Date……………… 31
Novels (since Oct 19, 2014)…………….. 117
Novellas (since Nov 1, 2015)…………… 10
Short stories (since Apr 15, 2014)……… 301
Short story collections……………………. 29

Whatever you believe, unreasoning fear and the myths that outlining, revising, and rewriting will make your work better are lies. They will always slow your progress as a writer or stop you cold. I will never teach the myths on this blog.

Writing fiction should never be something that stresses you out. It should be fun. On this blog I teach Writing Into the Dark and adherence to Heinlein’s Rules. Because of WITD and because I endeavor to follow those Rules I am a prolific professional fiction writer. You can be too.

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Questions are always welcome at harveystanbrough@gmail.com. But please limit yourself to the topics of writing and publishing.