The Journal: A Rare Occasion of Looking Backward

In today’s Journal

* Quote of the Day
* Koontz not Kuntz
* Topic: A Rare Occasion of Looking Backward
* Today
* Of Interest
* The Numbers

Quote of the Day

“The whole idea is to put yourself in a position to be recognized for your work so opportunities increase. False humility or even laziness could prevent that.” Actor Bryan Cranston

In yesterday’s post I misspelled Dean Koontz’ name as “Kuntz.” Senior moment. Mea culpa. I’ve corrected it. When you write as many words per day as I do, I guess you can expect to make a phonetic mistake now and then.

Topic: A Rare Occasion of Looking Backward

Interesting morning. A friend wrote to ask whether he could use a passage of one of my short stories in an upcoming novel. His character is reading the short story in question as he listens to his daughter’s piano recital.

I assented, of course. It’s called cross promotion. Readers of my friend’s novel might check to see whether the short story (or my name, for that matter) is real. When they find it is, they might pick up a copy of my short story if for no other reason than to see the sort of thing that my friend’s protagonist reads.

I talk loudly and often about always looking forward, not back. But when I read the passage my friend wanted to use, isolated and outside of the context of the story, I didn’t like it. In fact, I thought it stunk. I could have written it more succinctly and therefore better.

Then again, that’s only my opinion. Still, I gave in to the temptation to revise it.

I sent my friend the new passage (along with my permission to use it), then revised the basic manuscript and uploaded the new manuscript to D2D, Amazon and Bundlerabbit.

Why? Because in this new world of publishing, I can. Who knows? That one passage might make all the difference in whether someone else likes the story or doesn’t.

But this is supposed to be an educational blog, at least in part. So I thought I’d share both passages, original and new, with you. Do you prefer one over the other? Which do you think reads better? Here they are:

1. When she saw him there in the alley, a smile had exploded across her face and her long black hair formed a neat triangle on her forehead. It shifted back and forth as she ran to him. Her long, dark, pleated skirt pressed back against her legs in the breeze, and her knees alternated pushing it forward as she ran. (60 words)

2. When she saw him there in the alley, a smile exploded across her face. Her long black hair formed a neat triangle on her forehead. It shifted side to side as she ran to him, and her knees alternately pressed against one side, then the other, of her long, dark, pleated skirt. (50 words)

There you go. Comments are welcome on the website or via email.

Today, I’ll write. (grin) Also, I realized (three different times, all while writing on the novel) that I haven’t yet written the short story for this week yet. So I have to get that done too.

So I’m going back to posting this early. At present, I’ve written just over 2000 words on the novel, so by the time I write a short story I’m looking at a very good writing day today.
But the novel’s running so well that I probably will add more to it today as well.

So I’ll post this now and update the numbers tomorrow.

Talk with you again soon.

Of Interest

See “Card Sharp Silver… Day 15” at https://www.deanwesleysmith.com/card-sharp-silver-day-15/. Great post. It could have come out of the diary of a character in a dystopian novel.

See “Salt Pork Bacon” at https://killzoneblog.com/2020/04/salt-pork-bacon.html.

See “Public Books Database” at https://www.thepassivevoice.com/public-books-database/.

See “Newsletters for Authors: Get Started Guide” at https://www.janefriedman.com/email-newsletters-for-authors/. I think I’ve ticked off all the boxes with the Journal. Where I need to concentrate is finding new subscribers. (grin)

The Numbers

Fiction words today…………………… XXXX
Nonfiction words today…………… 670 (Journal)

Writing of For the Good of the Galaxy (novel)

Day 1…… 2645 words. Total words to date…… 2645

Total fiction words for the month……… 2645
Total fiction words for the year………… 210627
Total nonfiction words for the month… 3820
Total nonfiction words for the year…… 84970
Total words for the year (fiction and this blog)…… 295597

Calendar Year 2020 Novels to Date…………………… 3
Calendar Year 2020 Novellas to Date……………… X
Calendar Year 2020 Short Stories to Date… 12
Novels (since Oct 19, 2014)…………………………………… 48
Novellas (since Nov 1, 2015)………………………………… 8
Short stories (since Apr 15, 2014)………………… 208
Short story collections……………………………………………… 31

2 thoughts on “The Journal: A Rare Occasion of Looking Backward”

  1. Clearly number two is better. I’ve finally learned that most of my “had’s” (for past perfect tense) should go. Also, I’m writing many more simple sentences rather than compound, complex, or compound/complex. (Reverting to my Hemingway roots, I guess. (grin)

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