In Memory of Lorena

In today’s Journal

* Quote of the Day
* In Memory of Lorena
* Of Interest
* The Numbers

Quote of the Day

“It does not get easier with time, does it? Everyone tells us that nonsense, but every joyful memory is shadowed with raw mourning.” Robyn Conley, a long-time friend

In Memory of Lorena (“Little Bit”)

I wasn’t sure whether I would share this. It is intensely personal, but I can’t apologize for that. I suppose, or maybe hope, it’s an inherent part of human nature to give what we have to give.

Knowing that we can learn from all sources—some negative and some intensely positive—is valuable too.

And some lessons, even about an act as specific and focused as writing fiction, can appear in seemingly unrelated topics and from unexpected sources.

It is in that spirit that I share the following:

An angel, my angel, as she nestled in the illusion of safety in my inadequate arms, left this earth on April 11, 2023 just before 10 a.m. It is an understatement to say my life and my world will never be the same.

For 11 very brief years, day and night, in wakefulness and in sleep, her presence colored everything I did.

Often, she and I even woke in the middle of the night and talked—she in her way and I in mine—about everything under the sun. She was patient with me, as if our roles were reversed. And she taught me a great deal.

Now the stark awareness of her absence colors everything that remains.

Chief among the probably thousands of lessons this tiny little daughter taught me were these:

• Courage, kindness, and unconditional love are each their own reward. This is not a new concept, but she imparted this lesson every day, in every moment, by example.
• Contemplation of a beautiful sunset is also its own reward. Whether in the front yard lying at the base of her favorite tree or lying on a deep window sill peering between the slats of a venetian blind, she closed each day with a patient ritual, observing that event.
• Freedom is of paramount importance, as evidenced by her calm demeanor while she regarded me from the base of a mesquite tree on the other side of the backyard fence. Even as I freaked-the-hell-out, frantically thinking of ways to get her back inside the safety of the yard. That day, she taught me it’s all right to relax and Just Breathe.
• Any human “concerns” beyond water, food, shelter, and continuing to draw breath are passing luxuries or diversions and not to be taken seriously. She rightly dismissed these out of hand, and taught me to do so as well.
• Different is not subject to judgement. It is only different. ‘Bit would shrug it away, and she was right. If it doesn’t affect me directly, what do I care?
• BEing is all-important. DOing is only a pastime.
• And possession, obviously, is an illusion. We can only walk awhile with those we choose and who choose us.

She imparted many other lessons to me. As I said, probably thousands of them over 11 brief years.

Her fingal lesson to me is ongoing: True grief never stops, never eases. It clings like a phantom appendage. But it is necessary, and it is welcome.

Today, I will escape for awhile as I escape every day into the doing of fiction, responding to any writerly emails and comments, and preparing tomorrow’s edition of the Journal for you.

But please, no condolences. That isn’t why I posted this. I am a very fortunate man.

Miss Lorena was never a sadness. In every moment she was a joy, and a blessing that will last the rest of my life. I only wanted to share a Little Bit of my beautiful daughter with you in her memory.

I’ll be back with more “doing” tomorrow.

I hope your doing is as enjoyable a diversion for you as mine is for me.

Of Interest

Note: I am not a dictation type, but I did not see my reason listed in the second link below: I enjoy the sensation of the keys moving under my fingers and the words spilling across the page. But if you enjoy dictation or would like to try it, here you go.

Best dictation software of 2024

How To Dictate Your Book

Fiction Branding… Part 9

The Numbers

The Journal……………………………… 720

Writing of Blackwell Ops 23: Buck Jackson

Day 1…… 1217 words. To date…… 1217
Day 2…… 2154 words. To date…… 3371
Day 3…… 5757 words. To date…… 9128
Day 4…… 5433 words. To date…… 14561
Day 5…… 2248 words. To date…… 16809
Day 6…… 3446 words. To date…… 20255
Day 7…… 2960 words. To date…… 23215
Day 8…… 3987 words. To date…… 27202
Day 9…… 2936 words. To date…… 30138

Fiction for April…………………….….… 30138
Fiction for 2024…………………………. 255930
Fiction since October 1………………… 558986
Nonfiction for April……………………… 8860
Nonfiction for 2024……………………… 137580
2024 consumable words……………… 393510

2024 Novels to Date……………………… 6
2024 Novellas to Date…………………… 0
2024 Short Stories to Date……………… 1
Novels (since Oct 19, 2014)……………… 88
Novellas (since Nov 1, 2015)…………… 9
Short stories (since Apr 15, 2014)……… 239
Short story collections…………………… 29

Disclaimer: I am a prolific professional fiction writer. On this blog I teach Writing Into the Dark and adherence to Heinlein’s Rules. Unreasoning fear and the myths of writing will slow your progress as a writer or stop you cold. I will never teach the myths on this blog.

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